The Essential Guide For Griefers
by 5etharama
Summary: Have you ever wanted to grief, but don't know how? The Essential Guide For Griefers will tell you! Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you are banned or punished in any way when following the contents of this book. Oneshot.


**Just to say a disclaimer:**

**It is not my problem if you are kicked or banned from a server if you use the methods of Griefing/trolling explained in this book. I am not responsible for your mess. :P**

**Also, I know I should have made the chapters all separate. Sorry FanFiction.**

Introduction

Griefing an art. It is the art of destroying things, stealing things and essentially bringing grief to other peoples lives in minecraft. However, trolling is an entirely different thing, though this book will tell you how to do both. Griefing is making things unusable, either by damaging them, stealing them or destroying them altogether. Trolling is making someone's life miserable, or scaring them.

Griefers have no permanent residence, so get ready for some nights under the stars! Some basic understanding of the nomadic style of gamplay helps, and knowing how to make a basic shelter.

One last thing: I am assuming in each of these tips that you are on a server where Griefing is allowed, as people who make their own stuff and grief that must be very sad.

Chapter 1

GRIEFING

This chapter focuses on fire based items, including TNT and flint'n'steel. These are a Griefers best friend. Used for traps and mass destruction, they are everything you could wish for. So let's get started.

TNT is crafted by placing an X shape of gunpowder on the crafting grid, and filling in the rest of the space with sand. Flint and steel is crafted with, well, flint and iron. But let's face it, you are a griefer, and you don't use the soppy crafting, you use inventory hacks and creative mode. TNT is in the 'redstone' section of the creative inventory, and before you are changed back to survival by that dumb op (see chapter 4 for more) grab some flint and steel while you are at it, and whatever else you think you may need.

TNT and flint n steel can be used effectively in most servers, as stone houses would be rare due to high cost of stone, so most houses would be made of wood. As a simple hit and run technique you could run sideways down a mostly wooden house street, with flint n steel in your hand constantly right clicking, to start up a very large fire.

If you don't want to be caught in the act then make a TNT cannon. The easiest of TNT cannons is placing a block and beside it some TNT, and then on the block putting some more TNT. Light the first TNT, and then the second. This makes a very simple, yet effective, TNT cannon. Experiment with making ones with a longer range. Just remember, TNT takes 4 seconds to explode, redstone repeaters delay 0, 1, 2, and 4 10ths of a second, and, in my opinion, it is best to have the shot on a slab for maximum range.

Obviously, TNT will mainly be used for blowing stuff up, and it is very funny if you light the wrong bit of TNT in someone else's TNT cannon, because unless it uses obsidian for the frame it will blow up, sometimes spraying TNT all over the place. I know this because of a very catastrophic event that involved an extremely experimental automatic TNT cannon. It blew a 10 x 30 hole in my map, to be exact. From our mistakes, we learn, and now that SEMI-automatic cannon is the star of a large anti-mob defence system.

A simple trap can be made by digging a 2 block deep hole in the ground, placing TNT and then another block, and placing a pressure plate on that. However, almost EVERYONE knows that stunt, and will be very wary of pressure plates in any case. However, placing the pressure plate in its respective environment, such as a stone one in a mineshaft and a wooden one in a house can be very effective.

Chapter 2

APOCALYPSE SCHEME

From the title, you may guess what this is. A scheme of Griefing on a massive scale. A zombie apocalypse, nuclear apocalypse and a apocalypse of war.

First, find two villages with PLAYERS in them. It must be this for the last apocalypse to work. Now, because the two villages are separate, I am assuming they have a rivalry. If they do, all the better, if they don't, carry on anyway. They soon will!

First, you need to establish a base. I KNOW i said Griefers have no permanent base but now you need one. Find a base inside a mountain in-between the two villages. In that base make as many TNT cannons as you can facing towards one village. You may see where this is going.

Next, purchase or make some houses in the village of whatever you want. It can be in the village with loads of TNT facing it, or the other one. Or even both! If you are a serious Griefer and you have several minecraft accounts, purchase the houses in different names to avoid suspicion. In these houses put redstone clocks wired up to dispensers. It is better if you have some way of being able to fire them outside whilst concealing them. In the dispensers put zombie eggs. Hook all of the clocks back to your mountain base. An optional extra would be to put a sign up in the houses with "a present from the other village. Hope you like it! Kiss kiss" on them!

If you want you can put several traps in the space between the villages as well, to enforce the thought of war.

If you haven't seen where this is going yet, you are dim. First, from the safety of your base, activate the houses with dispensers in. This makes the zombie apocalypse. Then fire the TNT cannons. This makes the nuclear apocalypse. Finally, sit back with some minecraft cookies and watch the fun, as the village that was bombarded thinks the other village did it, and starts an all-out war with the other village. After the war, fill your base with TNT and light it, making a very nice fireworks display, as an end to the guide of Griefing.

Chapter 3

TROLLING

There will be no chapters in this part, just a list of schemes to annoy people.

Obtain eggs and make a crawl space under someone's house. Spawn many chickens there. The noise will annoy them.

Put a sign up outside someone's house saying "thanks for the stuff" without actually taking anything.

Effective with the last prank: put peoples diamonds in their dirt cupboard. They will go mad looking for them.

Replace all of their wooden doors with iron ones.

Put all of a person's unsmelted ores in the sides on someone's branch mines.

Put pressure plates in someone's house without putting TNT underneath them. Optional cruelty: have someone else put TNT under them!

Harvest all o someone's pumpkins, turn them into jack'o'lanterns and make a huge pumpkin in their back garden. Put a sign up saying: "it's the great pumpkin, charlie brown!"

Put boats in someone's house.

Turn diamonds into diamond shovels and jukeboxes. They will use them, but it probably wasn't what they were planning for them!

Put obsidian on top of their chests. More points if you use their obsidian to block them off.

If they have a nether portal, go through it and put obsidian on either side, so they can't get through.

Change all of their windows into melons.

Hide all of their diamonds in furnaces.

Chapter 4

GETTING AWAY WITH IT

The opposite of a griefer is an op. Short for operative, they are goody-two-shoes who passed a test, but despite this they are deadly because they can kick and even ban you from a server. Here are some ways to stop that from happening. Inn0cent_fac3 is the first person you see.

If you are caught with LOADS of diamonds:

Mr_op: where did you get those diamonds

You: erm, Inn0cent_fac3 gave them to me!

Inn0cent_fac3: who me?

Mr_op banned Inn0cent_fac3

If you are caught lighting a TNT cannon:

Mr_op: why are you lighting a TNT cannon?

You: is that what this is? I saw Inn0cent_fac3 making it, and I wanted to know what it did!

Caught making a trap:

Mr_op: why are you making a trap?

You: to try and kill Inn0cent_fac3, he keeps Griefing me!

Getting caught in Inn0cent_fac3's house nicking stuff

Mr_op: why are you stealing things from Inn0cent_fac3?

You: he's my friend, I asked him in the real world first

Or

You: Inn0cent_fac3? I thought this was my house! I must've got lost!

Epilogue

Griefers doings are not right. I strongly recommend only doing the things in this book to your friends because some people cannot take a joke and you can make some very big enemies. But don't forget, this is just a warning, so if you want to, you can use these methods on others, just prepare to have to go on another server!


End file.
